Slogans for Women’s T-shirts

1. So many men, so few who can afford me.

2. God made us sisters; Prozac made us friends.

3. If they don’t have chocolate in heaven, I ain’t going.

4. At my age, I’ve seen it all, done it all, heard it all…I just can’t remember it all.

5. My Mother is a travel agent for guilt trips.

6. Princess, having had sufficient experience with princes, seeks frog.

7. Coffee, chocolate, men . . . Some things are just better rich.

8. Don’t treat me any differently than you would the Queen.

9. If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.

10. Dinner Is ready when the smoke alarm goes off.

11. It’s hard to be nostalgic when you can’t remember anything.

12. I’m out of estrogen-and I have a gun.

13. Guys have feelings too. But like…who cares?

14. Next mood swing: 6 minutes.

15. I hate everybody…and you’re next.

16. And your point is…?

17. I used to be schizophrenic, but we’re OK now.

18. Warning! I have an attitude and I know how to use it.

19. Of course I don’t look busy…I did it right the first time.

20. Do NOT start with me. You will NOT win.

21. You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP.

22. All stressed out and no one to choke.

23. I’m one of those bad things that happen to good people.

24. How can I miss you if you won’t go away?

25. Sorry if I looked interested. I’m not.

26. If we are what we eat, I’m fast, cheap and easy.

27. Don’t upset me! I’m running out of places to hide the bodies.

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The colored ones are my favourites!!! hahahaha

Men are like…

… Blenders.
You need one, but you’re not quite sure why.

… Chocolate Bars.
Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.

… Coffee.
The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.

… Commercials.
You can’t believe a word they say.

… Computers.
Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.

… Coolers.
Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.

… Copiers.
You need them for reproduction, but that’s about it.

… Curling Irons.
They’re always hot, and they’re always in your hair.

… Government Bonds.
They take way too long to mature.

… Horoscopes.
They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

… Lava Lamps.
Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

… Mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

… Parking Spots.
The good ones are already taken and the ones that are left are either handicapped or extremely small.

… Popcorn.
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

… Weather.
Nothing can be done to change either one of them.

Gender Items

ZIPLOC BAGS - male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them.

SWISS ARMY KNIFE - male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.

KIDNEYS - female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.

SHOE - male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out.

COPIER - female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up. Because it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons are pushed. Because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.

TIRE - male, because it goes bald and often is over inflated.

HOT AIR BALLOON - male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it… and, of course, there’s the hot air part.

SPONGES - female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.

WEB PAGE - female, because it is always getting hit on.

SUBWAY - male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

HOURGLASS - female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

HAMMER - male, because it hasn’t evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it’s handy to have around.

REMOTE CONTROL - female… Ha! You thought I’d say male. But consider it gives a man pleasure, he’d be lost without it, and while he doesn’t always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.

Britney Spears - Dear Diary

Dear diary
Today I saw a boy
And I wondered if he noticed me
He took my breath away

Dear diary
I can’t get him off my mind
And it scares me
‘Cause I’ve never felt this way
No one in this world
Knows me better than you do
So diary I’ll confide in you

Dear diary
Today I saw a boy
As he walked by I thought he smiled at me
And I wondered
Does he know what’s in my heart
I tried to smile, but I could hardly breathe
Should I tell him how I feel
Or would that scare him away

Diary, tell me what to do
Please tell me what to say
Dear diary
One touch of his hand
Now I can’t wait to see that boy again
He smiled
And I thought my heart could fly

Diary, do you think that we’ll be more than friends?
I’ve got a feeling we’ll be so much more than friends

Britney Spears - Born To Make you Happy

I’m sitting here alone up in my room
And thinking about the times that we’ve been through
(oh my love)
I’m looking at a picture in my hand
Trying my best to understand
I really want to know what we did wrong
with a love that felt so strong
If only you were here tonight
I know that we could make it right

CHORUS
I don’t know how to live without your love
I was born to make you happy
‘Cause you’re the only one within my heart
I was born to make you happy
Always and forever you and me
That’s the way our life should be

I don’t know how to live without your love
I was born to make you happy
I know I’ve been a fool since you’ve been gone
I’d better give it up and carry on (oh my love)
‘Cause living in a dream of you and me
is not the way my life should be

I don’t want to cry a tear for you
So forgive me if I do
If only you were here tonight
I know that we could make it right

CHORUS
I’d do anything, I’d give you my world
I’d wait forever, to be your girl
Just call call out my name,
and I will be there
Just to show you how much I care

CHORUS (2x)