When you are sad,
I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the scummy bastard who made you sad.
I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the scummy bastard who made you sad.
When you are scared,
I will laugh at you and tease you about it every chance I get.
I will laugh at you and tease you about it every chance I get.
When you are worried,
I will tell you how much worse it could be and to quit complaining.
I will tell you how much worse it could be and to quit complaining.
When you are confused,
I will use little words to explain it to your dumb butt.
I will use little words to explain it to your dumb butt.
When you are sick.
I will hold your hair while you pay homage to the porcelain God.
I will hold your hair while you pay homage to the porcelain God.
When you fall,
I will point and laugh at your clumsy butt.
I will point and laugh at your clumsy butt.
This is my oath.
I pledge till the end.
I pledge till the end.
Why you may ask?
Because you’re my friend.
Because you’re my friend.
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